A recent discovery in the British library is throwing etiquette rules back. Way back.

Like, the Dark Ages.

The book in question, “The boke of curtesy,’ beginning, ‘Litylle chyldrynne here may y e lere,’ f. 58; Miscellaneous historical and other pieces in prose and verse” sought to teach children in over 500 years ago table manners. Some of which adults in 2020 could stand to learn.

We’re judging you too, Mr. My Cell Is On Speaker At The Restaurant.

Thankfully, the British Library highlighted some must-remember ones:

  • ‘Pyke notte thyne errys nothyr thy nostrellys’: Don’t pick your ears or nose.
  • ‘Pyke not thi tothe with thy knyffe’: Don’t pick your teeth with your knife.
  • ‘Spette not ovyr thy tabylle’: Don’t spit over your table.
  • ‘Bulle not as a bene were in thi throote’: Don’t burp as if you had a bean in your throat.
  • ‘Loke thou laughe not, nor grenne / And with moche speche thou mayste do synne’: Don’t laugh, grin or talk too much.
  • ‘And yf thy lorde drynke at that tyde, / Dry[n]ke thou not, but hym abyde’: If your lord drinks, don’t drink. Wait until he’s finished.
  • ‘And chesse cum by fore the, be not to redy’: Don’t be greedy when they bring out the cheese

I have no idea what it means to “burb as if you had a bean in your throat,” but it sounds painful.