Truly, the heroes we need right now.

It’s no secret a big fad in Country music is the “list song.” For an example, see Rhett, Thomas and “What Makes You Country.”

Well, Brantley Gilbert has teamed up with Toby Keith and HARDY to put out the anti-list Country song in “The Worst Country Song of All Time.” And it’s better than it has any right to be.

The project was teased on social media, starting with a TikTok by Brantley pondering THE question of the universe: What is the worst country song of all time? HARDY responded that it had to be “Red Solo Cup”, which is a fair guess. Toby felt it was HARDY’s “Rednecker.” Also a solid choice. The correct answer remains “Cicada Love Call.”

I will never not listen to this ridiculous song. It will be in my Christmas rotation on Spotify.

As for how this particular song actually came together, we’ll let Brantley tell it in his own words.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the lyric video for “The Worst Country Song of All Time.”

Murder hornets are SO 2020. The new 2021 hottness are TRILLIONS OF CICADAS.

If you’re not familiar with the Cicada Cycle (Trademark pending), every 17 years trillions of cicadas emerge from wherever it is cicadas go when they disappear again. I assume Narnia.

This year, the invasion is centered on the eastern seaboard of the United States. So, no, we won’t be seeing them in Kansas.

That’s not until 2032!

No, really, there’s a specific Kansan Brood of cicadas.

Image courtesy Scientific American

Anyway, this year is Brood X’s time to shine. Or be eaten.

Because that’s apparently totally a thing.

No, I’m not shocked. We, as humans, eat some weird stuff. Snails aren’t really that much less weird than cicadas.

Newsweek has some cicada cooking tips. Which is a sentence I didn’t think I would be typing when I woke up this morning.

Anyway, you can do a stir fry, put them on a pizza, or cover them in chocolate. I feel like that last one is cheating though. There are precious few things that aren’t edible when dipped in chocolate.

Before we leave, I feel it best to include the greatest Country song to feature cicadas.

Ladies and gentlemen, Toby T. Swift.