The injustice!

A Wisconsin farmer had a state…nay, a country…nay a UNIVERSAL RECORD pumpkin recently and was disqualified for one tiny, insignificant crack.

Mike Schmit told ABC 7 Chicago that he had a pumpkin that weighed in at 2,520 pounds. It, hyperbole aside, was set to become the heaviest gourd in the United States, if not for said crack.

“The crack was the size of a fingernail. It happens. There’s no crying in pumpkin growing,” Schmit said to ABC 7.

That’s very mature of him. We would have burned the whole place down. Especially since Schmit was out probably $20,000 if he had been allowed to enter the pumpkin in the Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off that takes place in California.

Yes, that is a legitimate thing.

Meanwhile, Schmit will go back to the drawing board for next year. We recommend Gorilla Tape to hold the crack together for next year. It’s the Dao of Steve.