Carrie Underwood’s youngest son, Jacob, will be five months old on June 21, and according to Carrie, he’s simply “this perfect little bundle of a smiley guy.”
But before Jacob arrived in January, the “Love Wins” hitmaker had a particularly difficult time, losing three babies in the two years prior.
In a new People cover story titled “How Faith & Family Made Me Stronger,” Carrie opens up about dealing with her fertility problems following the birth of her first child, Isaiah, in 2015.
“The miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why,’” she reveals.
“Of course, you wonder if it’s you,” Carrie continues, “‘What am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong?’ I remember having conversations with [husband] Mike [Fisher] trying to make sense of it all.”
The American Idol winner even admits she felt guilty that she struggled to manage her emotions.
“I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed,” she reveals. “I get to do what I love, I have an incredible family. I have Mike, I have Isaiah, I have great parents. I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever.”
It wasn’t too long after that, that Carrie got the news that helped brighten her perspective: “We heard that everything was okay and I was pregnant with Jacob.”
Now, Carrie has both Isaiah and Jacob along with her on her Cry Pretty Tour. “It’s a big awesome mess,” she smiles.
You can read Carrie’s full People cover story when the new issue of the magazine hits newsstands on Friday.
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