It’s Shark Week! Which means we get reminded that sharks are prehistoric, unkillable eating machines.

The unkillable part is proven by how many Jaws sequels there are. IT REMEMBERS ROY SCHNEIDER IN JAWS: THE REVENGE.

Anyway, since it is Shark Week, the internet decided to weigh in on whether it was afraid of sharks.

  • 3o percent said “a great deal”
  • 24 percent said “moderately” or “just a little”
  • 15 percent are idiots and said “Not at all.”

Those 15 percent, internet tough guys mostly came from the Midwest. WHERE WE DON’T HAVE SHARKS.

It’s easy to be tough about it when we can go in the water and not worry about being eaten.

Though we do have to occasionally worry about alligators. Also terrifying, prehistoric eating machines.

That’s it. I’m only swimming in pools from now on. OH COME ON.