Like everything else in 2022, the 12 Days of Christmas have seen inflation raise in price.

According to PNC Banks, who does an annual study on the cost of this ridiculous Christmas song, it would cost $45,523 to buy every item on the list. Once, that is. If you run though everything multiple times like the song, it’s closer to $200,000. Why anyone would want that many lords-a-leaping, though, I do not know. The increase comes out to a 10.5 percent jump across the board.

The breakdown is as follows:

  • Twelve drummers drumming: $3,267
  • Eleven pipers piping: $3,021
  • Ten lords-a-leaping: $13,980 (Ed. Note: Based off how much it would take to rent out the Philadelphia ballet.)
  • Nine ladies dancing: $8,308 (Again, based off the Philly ballet.)
  • Eight maids-a-milking: $58 (Yeah, cheap. But the bankers are using minimum wage ($7.25). I’m assuming the maids will laugh at you for trying to pay them that.)
  • Seven swans-a-swimming: $13,125
  • Six geese-a-laying: $720
  • Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Golden RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS: $1,245
  • Four calling birds: $600
  • Three French hens: $319
  • Two turtle doves: $600
  • And a partridge in a pear tree: $280

For giggles, I decided to do Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck 12 Days of Christmas.

The Grand Total for the 12 Redneck Days of Christmas in 2022: $5,604.86.

That’s actually not bad, really.