Like everything else in 2022, the 12 Days of Christmas have seen inflation raise in price.
According to PNC Banks, who does an annual study on the cost of this ridiculous Christmas song, it would cost $45,523 to buy every item on the list. Once, that is. If you run though everything multiple times like the song, it’s closer to $200,000. Why anyone would want that many lords-a-leaping, though, I do not know. The increase comes out to a 10.5 percent jump across the board.
The breakdown is as follows:
- Twelve drummers drumming: $3,267
- Eleven pipers piping: $3,021
- Ten lords-a-leaping: $13,980 (Ed. Note: Based off how much it would take to rent out the Philadelphia ballet.)
- Nine ladies dancing: $8,308 (Again, based off the Philly ballet.)
- Eight maids-a-milking: $58 (Yeah, cheap. But the bankers are using minimum wage ($7.25). I’m assuming the maids will laugh at you for trying to pay them that.)
- Seven swans-a-swimming: $13,125
- Six geese-a-laying: $720
- Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Golden RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS: $1,245
- Four calling birds: $600
- Three French hens: $319
- Two turtle doves: $600
- And a partridge in a pear tree: $280
For giggles, I decided to do Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck 12 Days of Christmas.
- 12 pack of Bud: $13.99 (The Fridge)
- 11 wrasslin’ tickets: $1,254 (This was for the very, very, vey top of SoFi Stadium for Night 2 of Wrestlemania 39 in April. Floor seats are…considerably more.)
- 10 Copenhagen: $45.99 (Amazon)
- 9 Years Probation: $1,872 (Marketwatch)
- 8 Table Dancers: $160 (Assuming a $20 per dance)
- 7 packs of Red Man: $94.85 (Rebranded to “America’s Best Chew” for obvious reasons)
- 6 cans of Spam: $25.14 (Hy-Vee)
- 5 Flanel Shirts: $174.95 (Wrangler)
- 4 Big Mud Tires: $941.96 (Burnett Automotive. We used the Goodyear Wrangler Workhorse HT All-Terrain tires for a 2023 Chevy Silverardo for the calculations.)
- 3 Shotgun Shells: $11.98 (Had to do some math on this one, using a 5-pack of HornadySST Shotgun Slug Shells from Cabelas.)
- 2 Hunting Dogs: $300 (T. Russell Reitz Animal Shelter fees)
- And some parts to a Mustang GT: $710 (This one really varies, but we’re going with a Mustang Coyote camshaft drive kit.)
The Grand Total for the 12 Redneck Days of Christmas in 2022: $5,604.86.
That’s actually not bad, really.
